Sports

Ark Game
Dammit we lost the ark game. Oh wait, no we didn't. Brother Gnewikow won it for us. Any evidence to the contrary is fake. Anyways, for those who don't know the Ark Game is a football game between Logan and Central where the winning school gets "The Ark" which is a boat that the winning school gets to use when the second great flood comes. Everyone in the losing school as well as every sinner on earth will die. We didn't did get it this year but and I got a good feeling about next year!

Soccer
Ask Garrett.

eSports
Oh wait, they're not a sport! Psych!

Boys XC
Statebound, and better than our football team by a mile (which the cross country team can run faster than the football team)

Girls XC
They're good. Can run faster than you, and they're all girls!

Underwater Basketweaving
Despite setbacks resulting from a Pool Shark infestation, our underwater basketweaving team led by Coach Kaminski is having a record year. Ms. K was nearly a basket case when we asked her how well the season was going, and sources also reported that a lopsided match in which Airstrip Logan crushed Centralasia was the "last straw" for Centralasia's team. Water the odds of making it to state? Very high, you sea. Ms. K was also quoted looking for support to buoy the team, asking "Canoe come?" to anyone willing to help float the team's spirits. Last we heard, the stress of being such a high quality team was making everyone on the team just a tad crabby.

Competitive Clapping
See competitive clapping.