Wow, Look at This Miserable Son of a Bitch

Do you ever feel like a Miserable Son of a Bitch? No need to worry! Laugh out your pain by reading about these poor motherfuckers, or blow off steam writing about all your horrible and debilitating anxieties and failures so we can laugh at you.

The time someone shit in the pool\
hey little known fact: someone dropped a fat dookie in the swimming pool and the swim team couldn't go to practice for a while. does anyone remember that? it happened like a month ago. So if u are the shitty swimmer please come forward and accept your trophy

1/22
La Crosse is like the ONLY school to NOT close school. Every. God. Damned. Time. Seriously, what the hell??? What we really need is for someone to crash and die on the way to school to make Randy feel more lenient about snow days. Come on, somebody pick up the slack here and take one for the team.

1/21
Local freshman Ron Sanders has been reported as "completely defeated" after he was brutally rejected yet again by a girl way out of his league. "You know I thought I had a chance this time... I really thought that we had something good going on, but I guess she wasn't ready to take our relationship past the level of someone I see at school twice a day". Despite his extremely romantic offer to share his meager rations of greasy school pizza, Sandra (who's toootally a babe too) completely shut him down with one fell "ehww." Fortunately, Ron now realizes that just because a girl acknowledges him in the hallway, it does not mean that she is madly in love with him but too nervous to express her true feelings.

1/21
Derek had always been a big swimmer. Ever since he was a little boy splashing around in the shallow end of Erickson pool, he was drawn to the water, and spent every free hour backstroking, front crawling, diving, frolicking, cannonballing, splashing. Alas, Derek was never a very bright one, so one day he decided to eat a toasted bagel in the pool with his pet hamster, Chubbs. Sadly, neither Chubbs nor Derek are seen around Erickson pool these days. In memory, I'd like to ask all readers to please eat a bagel for Derek, and give your hamster a hug for Chubbs. Derek and Chubbs, you will be missed.

Anonymous
I promised I'd wait forever.

She held me to it.